I gave my life to Jesus on an index card. 

Really tough. It was around 8 years ago (I wish I remembered the exact date) I had hit rock bottom after coming out of an abusive marriage. I had two beautiful kids but I was incredibly unhealthy and LOST. Mad at God (even though I didn’t know him) mad at the world for being such an awful place. No HOPE at all because I was into  new age to create my reality stuff and ALLLLLL of the pressure was on ME because HOW did I create such an AWFUL experience for me and my kids. 

My ex went to jail and I was broke, homeless, and hopeless. The only person on the planet I could trust was my mom. And THANK GOD  she was able to watch my kids while I broke into a million pieces … drinking, partying, and things I won’t even mention on social media brought me down a path to rock bottom and I kept trying to Dig deeper. 

I met my now husband around this time and he started to tell me about this guy named Jesus … in a way that NO one ever explained before . He didn’t tell me about how wrong I was, but how good Jesus is. Let me tell you – I FOUGHT it HARDDDD. 

How can we have a good God if such bad things happen in this world. 

Months and months went by … of us talking and me arguing about why God doesn’t love me and why I will never believe in Jesus. Then one day I was soooo low (and hung over) …. Not connecting with my kids at all and  that day  I decided let me try this “church thing”, That people keep telling me works. At least I can go and have my kids watched for free for an hour and give my mom a break (because she was taking care of them still), if nothing else. 

I went and cried like a baby… Grabbed my kids and ran out because I didn’t want anyone to see my shame and tears. I had no idea what and why it hit me so hard. 

I went a few More times, the pastor was amazing. He would talk about Jesus in a way I had never heard before. He would make me laugh, cry, and want to change all in one hour. 

Then the day came … I was hurting really bad that morning but I went anyway. I’ll never forget it. They passed out little papers and said “ Write something on it that you can pin* nail* to the cross or lay it at the cross. I was BALLLLING and I wrote “MY LIFE” then got up stood in the line of people … sobbing (like UGLY tears) I got to the cross at the front and THREW “my life” at the feet of the cross and yelled “ YOU TAKE IT…. if you can do better with my life than I can ….TAKE IT” !

I walked away and sat down. NO one came to talk to me. No WAY was I brave enough to try and talk to anyone (I was the shyest person ever). 

It wasn’t pretty…. BUT from that day forward things began to change as I sought after God. He always met me right where I was if I was willing. 

This is just a quick snapshot but this morning I asked God “what he wanted me to share with you today” and here it is!

Posting things like this alway make me nervous because its a piece of my heart … for everyone to see.